Відео

Yes unfortunately. After a while it won’t be like it though. Took me a few years to

@ thank you. You have helped me throughout this horrible time. 💯💯💯💯🙏🙏🙏

Thank you Cindy! 🙂

Glad to hear Travis! It sure makes it easier when you get to that point and generally things improve all the way around.

Thanks Elisa!

Thanks for the postcard from the other side and the support!

Yeah that was a interesting and the "daily show" was sometimes I really enjoyed. Not sure if I will be able to do that again but the thought has definitely crossed my mind! Thanks for the support!

hehe same here. felt like you were under house arrest during those days. was doing DIY jobs and listening to his show daily 😊

Thanks for the feedback dro!

Thanks for the postcard! It's good we have different techniques to help us deal with these crazily difficult/complicated. Unfortunately they ALWAYS try something else and typically it is using/focusing on creating wedge issues with the kids.

Yeah it's an exercise in frustration - they will NEVER get it plus, like I mentioned in the video, to them it is a victory to get you to even do that... LOL Loved the "postcard"!

Very true - especially since we typically don't know that we are playing "a game"...

@@DSD as a self-aware diagnosis narcissist, we depend on the fact that you don't know you're playing a game that you're destined to lose. Fascinating video, thank you.

Well like I said we're play too different "games". Thanks for the perspective.

Thanks for the postcard!

Thank you April!

You know that *might* help people accept and understand! That do-loop people get in to NOT wanting to believe the reality that is staring them (literally) in the face. But I can't be judgmental on that because I went through the same phase. Those were NOT fun days... Thanks for the perspective and comment!

@DSD You're very welcome, and thanks, Duane.😊

👍🏻

As a self aware diagnosed narcissist, that's something I recently discovered myself. My research has actually verified everything you said, it's pretty scary actually.

Hex, what made you start looking into this? Typically a NPD won't do that.

Thank you and thank you for the support! Yeah, it's sad but they don't have the ability to truly care about them...

So sorry to you’re going through this. What you said is exactly how this system works - it makes us powerless to protect our children and in cases like yours to be in their lives. Where you’re at now is really going to depend on you. The way this typically plays out you either hit emotional rock bottom and decide that you are not going to allow this person to destroy the rest of your life. Or and this also typically happens you stay fixed in that mode of rumination and you spend the rest of your life in the circular do-loop of doom. I saw in that mode myself for almost 3 years. This scenario is also how/why a lot of men end up remarrying and starting over with a new family. I’m assuming from your comment that you have zero contact with your daughter now correct?

@ thank you for the care, here. I truly appreciate it. It's painful to be living through this alone. Typically, no one listens to me or worst, ask "what I did", assuming the legal system is fair. As soon as I see her, my ex sends a demand to the judge, lying without any care. She says I said something to her educator, as bold as I said I would kidnap her (but I record everything, so that easy to demonstrate to be false). I can't be living afraid all the time. She'll say my daughter lost weight in the weekend she came to my place (how is that even credible?!?). She's dumb, she can't lie well, but she still get what she wants and no one will stop her. No, I don't see my precious baby. She is the bait my ex uses to hurt me, destroy me. She actually said she was going to destroy me (exact words she used). How can I see my daughter being harrassed all the time, manipulated, attacked, lied too, with smear campaigns, creating a false dossier on me. Psycho-social evaluation was rigged from the start. I submitted to it willingly, because I had nothing bad to point out in my life and am a good person and good father. The social worker said I was victimizing in the report. I told her I had video and audio recordings of my ex screaming and insulting me with my daughter in her arms, but I said that in of my daughter (which is, I say it again, severely mentally handicaped and doesn't understand language at all). And so she wrote that I was criticizing the mother in front of the child. This world is so violent... So violent towards fathers. Imagine that, I am fighting till I loose everything for a kid that requires special care. I asked the judge to take alimony straight from my paycheck to show it was not about money, but about love for my daughter. Still. She succeeded. She destroyed me and the relationship with my daughter. My daughter needs me. She will need me when she gets older and can't participate actively to society. My ex is immature and unhinged. She also needs me, because the special care needed is a lot to bare on her own. She needs someone to help, and she has no family here. I can't believe this. I can't. Everytime she is psychologically violent, she gets rewarded from institutions. It feeds her, but this will cause the downfall of everyone.

@ also, I asked everywhere for psychological support. I am a humble person, capable of introspection and although I am not perfect, I really try to do the "good" thing. I got nothing. 2 years, no help. Some of the specialists say I am ruminating and I have to move on, but how can you seriously move on from a child?! They say that like it's "just life". "Go back to work", "you are making a big deal out of it", "focus on yourself"... But here I am, vulnerable and crumbling like sand, and I can't seem to get over the fact that I lost my Lilou, my fragile little daughter. I cry all the time when I'm driving alone, I just break inside and cry. I can't go over that. I can't move on. I had the first grief to go through when I learned my daughter was handicaped. She was 3 months old. I broke in half for a month holding her with everything I had, burning tears running down my face, but I knew I had to keep my head up to take care of her and I did, even with all the violence my ex put me through during this time. She would scream, play mental games, be outwardly agressive and tell me to shut up in front of the doctors. No one ever seemed to care about me. I asked for help, told people she was violent and manipulative and I needed help. Asked for the social worker of the hospital to get involved. She didn't believe me, and my feeling was she was suspicious of me being bad. But I took it, and I tried to be nice to everyone around, thanking the doctors for their help, actively organizing everything, even trying to morally support my ex by telling her I would be there even if we were separating, that we had to be strong together for Lilou. When she would be violent, I'd just lower my head and not speak back, let it slide, hoping she would eventually calm down and get her head back in place. That was 2 years ago. She more and more violent as time goes by. The train will never stop and knows no justice. How was I supposed to grieve my daughter's condition in all that turmoil of sadistic dv? No one ever padded my back. No specialist at the hospital, no doctors, no one. Everyone assumed, I'm guessing, that I was responsible and that I deserved everything she put me through. She played games with everyone. She lied to everyone. Now, I am ashamed and I live in an off the grid cabin alone with my cat, the only love I could save from this disaster. I keep putting firewood in the woodstove, one piece at a time, not knowing how to get out of that hole, that hell I'm now in, and deeply ashamed that I couldn't win this fight for my Lilou. I am socially, physically, spiritually and financially ruined. I'm sorry, I'm writing too much. I have to carry all this every morning I wake up in sweat. Every night when I listen frantically to videos I don't care about, to keep my head and heart from bursting into flames. I am not withholding anything from the story. I did not cheat on her. I am not a controlling or violent person. I did not play games. I always tried to do the right thing, I swear on everything that I love. How did you move on? How is that even possible? How can I possibly do it? I feel my life is done here, without my daughter. I have no reason to stay amongst everyone. She is my only reason to keep putting firewood in the stove for now, but I don't know how long I'll keep going.

The way I was able to move on is I realize if I did it was going to kill me. My entire world was falling apart and I knew that is EXACTLY what she(ex) wanted. That's what they all want - they want to make us go away so they do not have to have us in the picture. The first thing that helped me was the anger that she was NOT going to break me, that I wasn't going to go away, and that I wasn't going to let her ruin my life. But then I had to accept the reality of what I was/am living and let go of that hurt and anger. It's not fair but at some point you have to otherwise, like i mentioned earlier, you will be stuck in this mode forever...

@ I'm working on it. I guess I need a lot of time and compassion to heal before I can stand up again. I was confused, gaslighted and helpless because I couldn't name it and I could not believe someone would act so viciously in times of such sorrow and pain. But you were there, one of the first anchor in this tragedy. You were the second channel I fell on when I was in the heat of the separation. You helped me understand what I was going through and you were the one who taught me to stay calm, leave, don't play her games, the grey rock approach and all that stuff. You said that it was going to be rough, the flying monkeys would turn on me. Most of all, you've explained that we have to be patient. Eventually, people will see the true nature of these kinds of people. Maybe not all, but at least some of them. And than, I might get a chance at getting justice. Get my daughter back in my care. Make up for the time that was stolen from us by furious irrational anger and resentment. I need to get back on my feet. Hopefully, spring will bring energy and hope again... fortitude if it may. So thank you very much for all that. Your work saves lives, I'm sure.

Well that’s something at least! Was wondering how that was going to play out.

Almost everyone is gone except. Judge. lol.

Hopefully that will be good - when the judge changed that was a bit of a problem... Hopefully he will start to see reality, like your previous one

LOL well said! 😀

Thank you for the support!

Yeah because she doesn't have the capability/capacity to understand that... Very typical

I'm glad to be of help, and sorry to hear your still litigating - unfortunately the legal system truly enables these people to continue to create drama...

Thanks for the postcard!

Good title and point! Thanks for watching

I thought of that movie title, too- kudos to you!

😀

Some of us do.

Great question! For the radio stuff I do I send postcards to some of the people I make contact with.

Hi Brian, check out my "Hybrid No Contact" video - it talks about that situation because when you have kids you still have to have "some" communications. I hear you it was nice when the last kid aged out and I have no reason to EVER talk or see her again... Well except for maybe graduations or marriage - I have one more university graduation coming up later this year...

@DSD Thank you for your channel, guidance, and support. I am doing as close to no contact as possible - Of course she refuses to respect my wishes, and will weaponize anything possible if we ever go to court again. Even yesterday, she was trying to communicate through text instead of OFW, to which all of my replies were OFW

Oh I remember THOSE days…. Unfortunately this is the pattern THEY ALL follow. IT’s all part of their “game” to be a pain in the butt…. I pushed OFW, she said email/txt. I say no then she says I won’t do electronic it has to be in person or voice. Again they all do the same thing. Hybrid no contact helps though.

It’s moves. Constantly.

They do the same thing but they do TRY different ways to create drama...

Thank for the support!

SOOOOOOO true - I often think about that movie with this time of situations

They do make it hell don't they!

@@dianeforpeece8166 that would be a better movie title than my suggestion

​@@randomgirl8078I still like it. Diane gives this community great insight though, no doubt about that

We have some really insightful subscribers!!!

Oh god I don't miss the circular arguments...

​@@DSDI have found this to be a problem with ANY narcissist, not just Nexes, Nparents, Ngrandparents.. I had probs with a narc at church. Longish story for another time, probably not here.

Yeah, as I’ve said before THEY ALL follow the same patterns or playbook. The only good part about that is it makes it a little bit easier to SEE who they are and root them out!

Thank you so much for the support!

Thanks for the "postcard" and thanks for your support!

Thank you for the support AND postcard! 😀

Thanks Steve! Hope you're doing well!

Thank you for the support brenton!

Yeah unfortunately it seems like to get to the other side of this you have to learn a TON about all of this. I always remember how lost I was with minimal information out there. That was the main reason why I started this little project years ago - wanted to provide what I WISH I had when I was in the beginning of the nightmare. Hope you're ok Brenton

@DSD Lots of people out here gaining the knowledge needed from your experience and videos - thankyou...

I keep trying! Thank for the support!

Yeah it's really difficult when someone is in the fog/delusion to really listen to anyone else. Unfortunately it's a risky move to try and "tell" them because what typically happens is the tell the spouse what was said and then they usually weaponize that to isolate the person even more. Hang in there Free-flyBe.

@@DSD Thank you; I'm trying even tho I'm being discarded like an old shoe:(

Sorry you're going through that - typically when they keep doing the false allegations and they are ruled/deemed not true it will blow back on them - it just takes so darn long to GET to that point though. Hope your hearing goes well on the 3rd!

@ thanks for the reply🙏

yeah and the rough part is we think it's different (or at least I did) but it really is the same the behavior was ALWAYS there... And they sure do LOOOOOVVVVVEEEE the engagement... (I'm glad THOSE days are over for me) Hope your on the other side of this aperry!

@@DSD thanks so much it’s actually my daughter and grandkids going through this but it affects me and my hubs as we are support and want to do everything we can to keep them safe - right now she’s been denied an extension on the restraining order even though there is plenty of on line stalking evidence and a bunch of other things breaking the ending rest. Order but no one cares in the court system. Her ex attacked me several times when they were married so it’s hard and your calmness and wisdom sharing your past experiences help very much. The children are scared as they never know what decisions the court will make. It’s a long story but they are safe for now but that’s always a moving target.

Thanks for the "magic" word! 😀

Oh darn, I just made a comment to you hoping you were on the other side of this - you're right in the MIDDLE of it - hang in there this does get better even though it feels like it's impossible for that to be even *remotely* true...

What I'm able to do now is have a strategy but without all the stress and anxiety - honestly I didn't think that would ever be possible. Hope you can get to that phase soon as well!

All good! I'm still trying to figure out what I'm planning to do - I will say I did enjoy the livestream (need to keep reminding myself so I don't forget). Thanks for the support Jacqui!

This stuff can def be dangerous...

Forgot I mentioned that in this one - but yeah that was a real eye opener when she said that...

If you aren't then MOST of the time you'll get run over by it...

Slow learner… here. Took too long to figure it out.

They all follow similar pattersn